An unexpected phone call, a plan’s “rearrangement,” the weather, a detour sign – all, and many more, are examples of the need for an inner adjustment. We accommodate these small demands in daily life, some days better than others. In fact, our ease with change reflects some of our temperament, our history, our maturity, right? I can say this about myself and am guessing it might be true about you, too. Our practice of accommodation is also influenced by the repeated demands of change, isn’t it? If, let’s say, a vacation plan gets turned around, flights are cancelled, luggage lost – we become weary with the situation. Our patience is strained at the exact time when more patience is needed!
In my last Glimmer, I spoke of change and the growth it often demands. Many of you responded with thoughts about “growing pains,” do you remember those? I recall the term being used to describe the physical aches from young bodies growing, muscles and bones getting longer, bigger, stronger. But, of course, growing pains happen in our emotional and spiritual lives, as well. Here I am at 72, body changing yes, but the demand for growing really lands in my heart. The lessons of loss, of all sorts, continue and that internal process of adjustment becomes a pathway of growing.
“I’m so glad to find a way to love again.” I remember hearing these words at Sr Mary Fahey’s funeral. She was quoted saying them in response to a difficult person or situation. Her heart’s desire, “to love,” was the guiding light in her life, and as we know, circumstances can challenge that goal. Loss, difference, rejection, misunderstanding, betrayal – all part of our human experience – and yet, as a “lover,” I seek the path of reconciliation. I desire to love again, and again, and again. Before you misunderstand my proclamation, know that I fail miserably, that I forget to include myself in that goal, and that I often get caught in my own neediness.
These are my recent growing pains, this is where my heart is being stretched out into new shapes, new ways of holding the life I am living. And this is where I learn about love.
with affection, Lisa